FINN: Get it, get it! [INSECT HISSES]
Yah! JAKE: Oooooooh!
FINN: [SHOUTING] [SHING!]
[FEELERS PATTER] JAKE: Get him out!
FINN: Don't you ever let me catch you here again.
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! [LAUGHS] Agh! Ow!
Ooooooow! Agh! Agh!
[GRUNTING] JAKE: Dget you with his
poison stingers? FINN: No!
I got a splinter from the door. JAKE: Let me see.
Wow, that's a tiny splinter. FINN: But it hurts!
I'm gonna need some... Finger protection!
Thanks, choose goose. I am choose goose.
Come back for some juice! , I am so protected
right now. That is mighty thick.
Go on -- hit me! Oh, wow.
Very nice. Very impressive.
FINN: Hey, guys! Check this out!
Dude, hit me. Ow! On my armor!
JAKE: Oh. [TINK!]
FINN: [CLICKS] [LAUGHTER]
That is but a thimble! This [CLANGS] Is real armor.
[LAUGHTER] [BIRDS CALLING]
JAKE: Wha? ALL: Sir slicer!
Who is the one that bears the thimble?
JAKE: This dude. [LAUGHS]
Oh, you foolish boy. Without full body armor, you're
weak! You do not look [CLICKS]
[LAUGHS] Yah! [HORSE WHINNIES]
FINN: Choose goose, I need more armor.
I've got something for you -- a metal shoe!
Don't you know you might stub your toe?
[LAUGHTER] FINN: Uh, no, choose goose.
I need... Look here, hun.
Choose this one to protect your buns!
Protect his butt! Protect his butt!
FINN: No, choose goose. I want --
don't be meek. What if you fall down and scrape
your cheek? Look at his butt!
[CACKLES]
FINN: Choose goose, I want the most [CLICKS] armor you
have! Ooh, have a look!
FINN: I'll take that one. Wonderful.
I'll need a trade of equal value.
I'll take the head of your dog friend.
JAKE: Say what?! FINN: No way.
Choose goose, this stuff is overpriced.
No money for me? How about a poem for free?
[LAUGHTER] A poem!
FINN: A poem? If you can decipher the poem
and complete the trials, you will receive the magical armor
of zeldron. It is foretold to be totally
[CLICKS] BOTH: Skadow!
Your quest begins in the marsh over the hill.
FINN: Ah, yes! I'm gonna get that armor!
JAKE: Yeah, man, you're gonna do it.
[BIRDS CALLING] Good luck exposing your soft,
vanilla-strawberry skin to the elements, dork!
[LAUGHS] Later, losers! [LAUGHS]
FINN: [SHOUTS] He's just jealous that I'm gonna
have cooler armor than him. JAKE: Yeah, what a
bumbleberry. BOTH: Whoa!
JAKE: What's the poem say? FINN: "The sun nibbles on the
clouds, and gum drop tears rain down."
I don't get it. JAKE: Hmm.
It means that we have to cross that swamp.
FINN: How'd you understand that?
JAKE: You don't just read the poetry to understand it.
You got to feel it. Trust me, dude -- I'm smarter
than everyone. Now get in there!
FINN: You're not coming? JAKE: No way, man.
This armor thing is your deal. I'll wait for you on the other
side. [WATER SLOSHING]
FINN: This place will be a piece of...
Aah! FINN: Aaaaah!
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry! Aaaaaaaaah!
Oh, no! My most private parts peeped
by a boy! FINN: [GASPS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Aah! Pervert!
FINN: I'm not a pervert! You should be ashamed of
yourself! FINN: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Aah! My privates!
FINN: I'm sorry! My privates!
FINN: I'm sorry! [BREATHING HEAVILY]
JAKE: You okay, man? FINN: No!
[BIRDS CALLING] [LAUGHS]
BOTH: Wha?! What's the matter, crimson
cheeks? Feeling a little embarrassed in
the swamp of embarrassment? You're so red, you look like a
tomato. [LAUGHS]
FINN: Aahhhh! We'll see who's embarrassed when
I get that armor! What does the poem say?
JAKE: Mm. Ooh!
"The meadow weeps as morning sings of milk and honey and
things to come." FINN: What does that even
mean?! JAKE: It means we have to
silence the echoing in the woods.
[CRYING] [BOTH GASP]
[CRYING CONTINUES] FINN: Aw, man!
I don't know how to silence that!
JAKE: All right, I'll handle this one, dude.
FINN: No. This is my burden. JAKE: Then just make her
think it's her idea. That's how you make the ladies
do what you want. FINN: Hey, monster lady!
Hey! Stop crying! Huh?
FINN: Stop crying because that's what you want to do!
[MUMBLES] FINN: Huh?!
[SCREAMING] [GASPS]
[COOS] JAKE: [LAUGHS]
She thinks you're her red-faced baby or something.
I think she wants you to nurse, dude.
FINN: No! [CONTINUES COOING]
[BIRDS CALLING] >>Instrel.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ he's Finn the blushing
baby ♪ ♪ his cheeks are bright and
red ♪ ♪ be sure to make fun of him
before you go to bed ♪ grandfathers will sing that
to their grandchildren for generations to come.
FINN: Grandfathers will not sing that to their children!
[SHRIEKS] [CLANG!]
[WHIMPERS] Armor. [CLICKS]
[HORSE WHINNIES] FINN: Just wait till I have
the armor of zeldron! JAKE: Yeah, just you wait,
weirdo. Uh, Finn? Uh-oh.
[SNORING] FINN: Jake, you okay? Huh?
[GRUNTS] BOTH: Yeah!
FINN: Awesome! Bhoa!
FINN: Finally. Yah!
Hello. FINN: Begone, ghost!
I'm here for the armor! First, you have to beat my
high score in a game of drop ball.
BOTH: Drop ball? Drop ball is an extremely
addictive, high-intensity game designed for people everywhere.
Here, let me show you. [BUTT CHEEKS SQUEAK]
One point. [BUTT CHEEKS SQUEAK]
Two points. [BUTT CHEEKS SQUEAK]
Three points. FINN: This game looks awful.
Oh, no. I absolutely disagree.
FINN: Dude, let's just kill him and get the armor.
JAKE: How? He's already dead. Here. It's your turn.
Now, I don't want you to be intimidated, but my high score
is six. FINN: Guh!
Just -- just toss it on the ground.
No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!
Let me show you how the pros do it.
[GRUNTS] See? It's all in the technique.
Now, I'm gonna put a little finesse into it, just to shake
things up. BOTH: Whoa!
JAKE: Finn, it's so beautiful!
FINN: Yeah -- guess all the embarrassment was worth it.
Greetings, young traveler. We know what you seek, and you
shall receive it. Behold -- the armor of zeldron.
It will protect you from evil, even ghosts.
FINN: Huh?! Aah! No! Dude, this is lady armor!
JAKE: [CLICKS] [CLICKS]
FINN: No, not [CLICKS] no more embarrassment!
I don't need armor! You did not watch my
drop-ball technique! BOTH: Huh?
I give you firsthand tips that no one else knows, and this
is how you thank me?! I absolutely disagree with that!
[ROARS] FINN: Now what?
JAKE: Put on the armor. It'll protect you from evil,
even ghosts! FINN: Never!
Yaaaaaaah! [SHOUTS]
Unh! Wah!
[ROARS] FINN: [CHOKING]
JAKE: Hey! [HISSES]
Huh? Mama?
JAKE: Uh... Yeah!
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Listen when your mother is speaking to
you. Yes, mama.
JAKE: You should be ashamed of yourself -- a boy your age
sitting in this cave alone for thousands of years.
You need to go outside and get some sunlight.
But I... JAKE: No back talk!
Outside now! [WHIMPERS]
Aaaaaaah! FINN: Whoa.
Oh, thank you, Finn and Jake! You've freed me from the
addiction of drop ball. JAKE: [NORMAL VOICE] No
problem, dude. I couldn't have done it without
the power of embarrassment! FINN: And I learned I don't
need armor to be -- [BIRDS CALLING]
[LAUGHS] Look at you losers.
Finn, you don't have any armor, and your friend is dressed like
a lady. [LAUGHS] So not [CLICKS]
FINN: Well, at least I don't spend my day following a kid
around! Get a life, dude!
[LAUGHTER] JAKE: Good one, Finn.
[LAUGHS] Well, I've...
Just been in the same areas today.
[LAUGHTER] Yeah, right.
JAKE: Whatever. Be quiet!
I -- I am more [CLICKS] than all of you.
FINN: Come over here and say that to my fist!
Okay, I will. Whoa!
[MOANS] This armor's too heavy!
No problem. I'll just prop myself up on this
stick. Agh!
Splinter! FINN: Hey, sir slicer, maybe
you can use this! Here you go!
Oh! FINN: Free of charge.
Oh! JAKE: Come on, dude, let's
get out of here. FINN: [LAUGHS] Okay, buddy.
JAKE: Wa-hoo! Dude, this armor is totally
[CLICKS]